What if someone doesn’t like what I’ve done?
What if I’m not perfect?
What if I try this and fail?
It’s thoughts like these that can keep me up at night. What if I could just let go of my anxiety, wouldn’t life be grand?
But I am afraid these thoughts have plagued a good part of my youth…
Thanks to therapy, I’ve mostly gone through these thoughts fairly quickly – I’ve grown to accept the idea that nothing will change the past, and the choices made, even if they weren’t the best, have shaped who I am – and who I am is actually pretty cool.
This has taken a lot of therapy.
And the what ifs of the future – they still get me.
What if my sons aren’t able to care for themselves when they get older?
What if they find life mates I don’t get along with?
What if they don’t want to spend as much time with me as I do with them?
What if I lose one of them or my spouse?
And to all these thoughts, all I can say is they are an argument to live fully presently.
Live with my family as they are now – enjoy them, even when they drive me crazy – and appreciate all the times we have.
And, as my daily life is to teal with my clinical anxiety and depression – those what if’s will always be around. But, so long as I continue to work through them and maintain therapy, I’m hopeful they will not cripple me as they once did!