Anxiety – what if?

What if someone doesn’t like what I’ve done?

What if I’m not perfect?

What if I try this and fail?

 

It’s thoughts like these that can keep me up at night.  What if I could just let go of my anxiety, wouldn’t life be grand?

But I am afraid these thoughts have plagued a good part of my youth…

Thanks to therapy, I’ve mostly gone through these thoughts fairly quickly – I’ve grown to accept the idea that nothing will change the past, and the choices made, even if they weren’t the best, have shaped who I am – and who I am is actually pretty cool.

This has taken a lot of therapy.

And the what ifs of the future – they still get me.

What if my sons aren’t able to care for themselves when they get older?

What if they find life mates I don’t get along with?

What if they don’t want to spend as much time with me as I do with them?

What if I lose one of them or my spouse?

And to all these thoughts, all I can say is they are an argument to live fully presently.

Live with my family as they are now – enjoy them, even when they drive me crazy – and appreciate all the times we have.

And, as my daily life is to teal with my clinical anxiety and depression – those what if’s will always be around.  But, so long as I continue to work through them and maintain therapy, I’m hopeful they will not cripple me as they once did!

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