Shiny

I’m shiny
I’m showy
and many
despise me
when I am
my true me
What can I do?
Why change me
if the problem is you.
I was created
this way
much to the dismay
of a world that would
just shut me down.
For so long I kept my light hidden
closed up inside
and the world kept on pushing
continued to chide
Couldn’t make myself
what wouldn’t be smashed
so the time for hiding
is now in the past.

I’m shiny.
I’m showy.
I’m loud and I’m lovey.
I’m done with keeping
myself from being free
and for all those
out there who
want to smush me
I send love
I send hope
that one day
they won’t fear me
One day they too

would be free.

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You think I am rude.

You must think that I’m rude

for the way I react

but your comments are sexist,

they’re agist in fact.

I get tired of explaining

Why it shouldn’t be said.

And in my tired frustration

I’m honest instead.

I respond with confusion

and my face displays

that I’m unhappy with such a collusion

you must think I’m a jerk

an ungrateful girl

but that’s part of the problem

I’m not a girl in this world

I’m a person, adult, pastor

just plain human

And your treatment of me displays

that not only do you see me as WOMAN

you see me as a child

most certainly beneath you

and your station.

Most days I can respond with kind faces and words

So you don’t feel the sting I felt from YOUR words.

But today I am tired. Sick as a dog.

And I’m allowed to be annoyed

at these heavy word logs.

Your intentions aren’t bad

And I have to feel sorry you are sad

when it is YOU who offend me

Over and over again.

To be a woman who is younger than 50 in a “man’s” profession is HARD

Hard not because it’s meant for a man to do

but hard because the world treats us differently based on our gender

our age.

I hope someday I don’t have to deal with such agist sexist discrimination.

And when I’m less tired I’ll help change the nation.

but today I am tired and sick

and don’t have time to deal with this shit.